When was the last you told yourself “I love you”?
Read again, yes I am asking if you have expressed your love for yourself recently?
Sounds absurd? Or even awkward? I don’t blame you. Expression of love has been categorized as a “Teenage phenomenon” in our society. Hardly do we express our mushy feelings for our loved ones, then telling “so” to yourself is … well, you know what…
Often I ask this question in my sessions in a more indirect way, “Who are the most important people in your life?” You can very well guess the answers- My wife, husband, child, mum, dad, granddad, friend extending to even a colleague or a boss or a dog (They are important for sure) but almost never do I hear the “myself” that I am so looking for. Certainly not without a prompt.
Such is the way we have been brought up. Thinking about self or as much a little of self-praising is an absolute no-no. To think good of others (even those that are a pure menace) to praise people even when they are being downright mean and even when we don’t mean a word of what we say is encouraged and highlighted as a noble virtue.
The outcome is:
- I don’t know myself (because I am too busy looking at others).
- I certainly have no awareness of what is special and exclusive in me.
- In addition, I have been bombarded with open criticism since childhood
- Hence I am very low on self- esteem.
- Hence I am always slipping towards inferiority complex.
- Hence I go about the world with low confidence, taking any garbage from anyone.
- Hence I either end up with depression or tend to put others down in a desperate attempt to feel good about myself.
Wake up! Stop waiting for someone to come and tell you how good and how beautiful you are! It is not about them- it is about YOU!
All are sailing in the same boat. Difficult for most to praise others till they are themselves living with a negative self-image. So remember that those who keep criticizing you are deep in low self-esteem themselves. Pity them and pray for them BUT do not take their words seriously. YOU are the amazing creation and unique in every way.
WAKE UP! Look deep into the eyes of the person in the mirror and say “I LOVE YOU- YOU ARE THE BEST”!!